From this traincar of life...

I once asked a banana bread of a friend to define the Christian journey in a sentence, and she analyzed it, as only she can, as a train. You're going from one car to the next; the valley, the mountain, the shadow, the sunshine...it's always a progression of yet another season.
These are simply some floating thoughts I penned the other day in the quiet under a tree, after reading some convicting thoughts from Brennan Manning, and based on the traincar I'd found myself on about a month ago. Because I'm single, I'd made particular single thoughts, but they're just from a young woman's heart--you may relate with your present traincar. :-)

I look around this world I live in. I feel so sorry for it.
I wish I could dig your tunnels--for there is greater depth in the things of this life.
I pity you, world. But with a good pity. Whole-heartedly, I wish so much more for you!

There are so many expectations from the world for a woman of my age and status. Single. Stagnant. With so much potiential, just no smarts to desire it. I don't get irritated. I choose to smile now, as I didn't before. A woman of any status or season doesn't find her validity in persons or prosperity or abilities. My validity is found in Jesus Christ. One who carried the example of real, valid and abundant life: A Cross.

I, as a carnal creature, forget what discipleship, baptism, "dying-to-self", and "crucified with Christ" means in vivid reality. So I'm easily hurt and confused when people don't see me, when others don't have favorable opinions of me, when I can't do something "well", or I can't find acceptence, or satisfaction of myself.
Discipleship means training. It means I mimick, until it's second nature, my Savior's example.
Baptism means I have died to the flesh. I no longer desire validity from man, from others, or from my own "can do's". I die with Jesus and I'm raised with Jesus. Sharing in suffering. Sharing in glory. No longer is it about what I get out of this vapor of life--it's about Him. About where HE is, what He desires, and everything else fades to darkness.
My Father doesn't love me for the good I can do; He loves me because He is good.

In this I cling to and rest.
I am who You're making me to be.
We wait patiently on your Potter's wheel.

July 25, 2008

News at Midnight...why?

Lord, there's got to be another way.
Why is it that I'm always inspired to clack at ridiculously late hours, when I'm half awake and incoherent? I wonder if it's the Spirit, giving me coherent thoughts when my body is incoherant...therefore out of the way? Tonight, the computer was off, but I figured it was now or not until yet another midnight musing session. So back on the computer came, and here I am to visit with you on this late Saturday night. Though I'm sure at this very moment, you're on billowing pillows and under warm blankets, and won't read this post until Monday...*yawn* here I am.

MEXICO UPDATE:
At the end of June, before my OK/NM trip, I talked to our family friend, Kurt, who funds these particular trips to Mexico. His foundation not only funds the trips and supports the missionary family in Mexico, but they also provide scholarships for people who wish to go. On our call, he simply let me know of some details--about the family we'd be staying with, what I'd need, how much it would cost, what the trip would entail and require of me, etc. At this point, he told me that he wasn't sure what funds were available, and the 5-day trip could ultimately cost $800-$1200. The project is called Suenos Dulces, which is "Sweet Dreams" in English. They will be going to a children's boarding school (a place where children--whose parents were unable to care for them--live, school, etc), and will be supplying mattresses for every child there (their current mattresses are old, have springs/insides exposed, or daylight is seen through them). They will also be doing some street worship/evangelizing and Church/work projects. At the end of our call, I was very excited even though I'd had no final direction that this was for sure. He told me to follow up with him once I got back from my trip. When I did, I was blessed to find that playing guitar and singing may be a wonderful asset; not only was I thrilled to know that there could be something I could offer from myself, but also I've been blessed with an Uncle who is teaching me Spanish worship songs.
Once I got back from LeAnna's and Jen's, after much prayer and questioning, I followed up with Kurt to get more details and maybe a final decision/direction. He'd invited me to a family cookout where I would meet all the people affiliated with the trips, people were definite with this trip, and also the missionary family we'd be staying with. Before we ended the call, he'd asked me if I needed any help with the cost of the trip. I honestly shared that any help would be appreciated, but if I was meant to go, the Lord would provide the means. Then he shared that they had already discussed it and had decided to fund the whole trip for me. Needless to say I hung up the phone in tears, and no longer question anything about it. Even if this still isn't meant to be right now, it's too amazing how the Almighty works--mysterious, unknown, completely unseen...but nothing is ever out of His control, nor is He idle on the sidelines. :-)

That's all I have the capacity to share right now, but will be better at keeping up to date.
And the world holds it's breath. :-)

Another blessing in the craziness has been S.W.A.T. (Spiritual Weapons And Tactics, Ephesians 6), the youth Bible study I've been helping lead. This has been an answer to prayer like none I'd thought, or continued to dream possible. Last Wednesday, we had 18 people in the little room we're already outgrowing, and we have such awesome people/kids in our group! There have been challenges within myself already; things that have stretched me out of my comfortable place, and caused me to reach for HIS wisdom and HIS strength. But only the Lord knows--and here I continue to strive simply to keep "eyes on Him", trusting He truly knows what He's doing.

There are alot of things I wish I could keep sharing just on a musing level, but I'm about to leave coherency. Physical, spiritual and all of the above.
Love and prayers for your whole Sunday--let it be not only the Sabbath routine, but the Sabbath of your heart. That you be washed by the water of the Word, and in the rest of His Presence; not the goosebumps you feel, or the yahoos in the spiritual. Just the TRUTH that He who is ever-present IS ever-present. With a mighty hand and outstretched arm, His love and faithfulness endures forever.

I AM

Another week come and gone--and it was so busy my head is still spinning, and I feel as if there's still so much more to do. That's because there is, but we deal with it patiently! It will be there tomorrow, and it's justified to say so when you truly try your best. Whew.

Though I had a good time at VBS with the kids this past week, I was happy when it was over. We learned some new songs with hand motions to teach the kids at church, which should be as much fun as interesting! :-) My work/household routines were completely thrown off, and like I shared on tonight's prayer chat, the timing of supper (or anything else for that matter) is like the timing of the rotation of the earth. I find preparations are done the day before, if not the afternoon, that they are needed. I'm weeks behind on my Bible quest, but not giving up yet! Good things get neglected for urgent, but menial, things. All for finding a balance to be a better steward of precious time.

But these things truly are the simple annoyances that they are. All in contrast to how great the Almighty God is, and the things HE chooses to be a Good, Perfect, and Loving steward over. Simple things like this. Complex things, like ME. And beautiful things He does in His spare infinity.
"There is a chronic temptation to reduce God to human dimensions, to express Him in manageable ideas. Human reason seeks to understand, to reduce everything to it's own terms. But God is God. He is more than a super human being with an intellect keener than ours and a capacity for loving greater than ours. He is Unique, Uncreated, Infinite, Totally Other than we are. He surpasses and transcends all human concepts, considerations, and expectations. He is beyond anything we can intellectualize or imagine. That is why God is a scandal to men and women--because He cannot be comprehended by a finite mind." --Brennan Manning, Lion & Lamb

It was a breath of fresh air to read this, and many simple and elementary truths spelled out as I read Lion & Lamb this morning. Lately, I've been seeking to heal my relationship with my Father. He's not left, and I've not "strayed"...but there's a need for a refreshing of late. A washing, renewing, morning of my heart and His. I feel Him near still. But He is not as close, not as present, not as audible, etc. His voice isn't speaking from the bushes, and the warm thick of His Presence doesn't come in the quiet place. Maybe He's teaching me to rest in the solid rock of His Presence, His Love, His I AM, without my feeling it. Because regardless of the tree in the woods, when it comes to I Am, whether I feel it or not...He's There. That's a cause for a reaction of joy on my part, if I ever needed one.

My shower and bed are calling me, as the morning will come too early for my liking. Tomorrow is another day He has made; and the axis of the earth are not based on my daily routines. Everywhere children are orphaned and/or starving, my brothers and sisters in Christ are being persecuted, and kingdoms are growing more and more corrupt. Remembering these things helps me to reduce my annoyances to their respectful place, and learn to trust I AM a little bit more today.

"In His presence is fullness of joy..." may you find/remember/see that this week, my friend.

Note: Jack & Josh wouldn't load last night or today--this week's video may be too long.
Note again: Mexico update to share soon. :-)

Dwelling on Good Things

Yay for a Saturday off. My boss thought I'd be upset. And I laugh. :-) Yes, I'm SO thankful for my job...but I laughed indeed. It happened that they weren't busy and were sufficiently staffed. So I get to stay home, clean house and cook food for 30+ people that will be here tonight. Why? To mention a prayer request first: my great uncle (my Grandpa's--Dad's dad--brother) has recently been diagnosed with cancer of glands, but I can't remember which. He's had some health problems for awhile, currently with a clogged artery in his leg. He's smoked all his life, but has lately given that up. His wife has gone to church for years, but only in the past couple has he gone with her and has truly enjoyed it. You can see the glory and the change in his heart (though he's always had a teddy bear one!), and it's humbling to see. But this is a hard time for his wife, kids, grandkids, etc. Please pray for him, and for them all--he's been in such wonderful spirits, and giving the Lord the faith and glory in each step. You can't help but find the joy when you see him, instead of feeling sorry. He's ready for whatever his God leads him through.
He's somewhat the main reason we're getting together tonight--we rarely do this on this side of the family altogether. We get along and such, but the getting-together is really hard to motivate and make happen. So we're praying for a good time with everyone, since it may be a long time before we do it again. Thank you for any prayers!

If RanchWife calls herself a slacker, I don't know what I am! Non-existent? :-)
But lately as I sit down in front of a text box, it seems the words don't come--and if they're negative, I can't bring myself to post them. Please don't become self-conscious now my much-loved bloggers, it's just an issue with me! I want a good, light-hearted, spiritually joyous post everytime--despite the fact that it doesn't need to be the case. There's the ups and downs. Period. No getting around them, and on a positive note: even the downs are for the GOOD. :-)
But it's not that there hasn't been anything going on...perhaps that's why, cause I'm ready for the craziness of life to settle down. We've had graduation, visiting family, a live-in Grandma (which has been wonderful!), work, church, and random/spontaneous/groove-thrower-offers to just make your hair fall out. But the Lord is good, and the river has to come to a still brook sometime we know.

Speaking of dwelling on good things (thanks LeAnna & Jen for listening and sparking the thoughts!), I'll share something that came to mind while reading about Jacob this week; a story I learn from each time I go through it. In the midst of getting frusterated with sisters Leah (who was unloved) and Rachel (who was loved by her husband), I saw something of Leah to think about. In that day in time, the people named their children/land/property after where they were in life. And here is what Leah named her first four sons: "When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. Leah become pregnant and gave birth to..."

Reuben: "Is is because the lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now."
Simeon: "Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too."
Levi: "Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons."
Judah: "This time I will praise the Lord."

The repetative nature of the names show that Jacob still didn't favor Leah even after his sons were born (or at least, Leah doesn't feel it). But reading it, I could feel her agony and suffering as it seemed to consume her. Being unloved by the man she was bound to probably consumed her thoughts, consumed her lifestyle, etc, therefore made her miserable. But here, at the birth of Judah (that happens to be the line of David, therefore the line of Christ), she simply praises the Lord. Not because her husband loves her now, because reading further she becomes desperate again as both women offer their servants to produce offspring for them. But she stops--no more dwelling on what she doesn't have, but praising the Lord. It made me wonder about the things we want, wish were different, or any current battles: spiritually speaking, what would we name things if they was based on where our hearts lie? Would it be consumed in what we want, or praising the Lord regardless? It stepped on my toes for one, but it's an encouraging thought still. My God is Sovereign. He's God--and I am not. So our call to higher hope, a hope of glory (Colossians 1:26-27), is to praise Him for the goodness He's ALWAYS working in us.

May that higher hope in your Jesus produce the strengthening joy we're to give account for. :-)
Love and prayers for your weekend,
Jen

Tuesday Musings & Praises...

Good afternoon, friend...how is your Tuesday so far? I thought mine would be harder than it's been; here's a praise the Lord #1. :-) Praise the Lord #2 is we've been able to turn the AC off today because there's a cool breeze--and I stop to thank Him for it, cause we don't ever get this at this time in the year--and I know of lots of people that would be thankful for it too! New Mexico? I'll say a prayer that He'll send you some, and some rain mixed in there too!
Praise the Lord #3, that I have a job. Even though I've got cabin fever from being in this office since 8 this morning, and a headache from staring at a computer and talking on the phone, I'm glad I have a paycheck. That's more than alot of people have to say right now--so I thank the Lord for this!
The awesome Word of God...praise the Lord #4. On January 31st of this year, I looked into a Bible Quest on HeartThoughts Retreat that started the very next day (Feb 1st). It was a quest to read the entire Bible, from Genesis to Revelation, in 90 days. It sounded really hard, especially since I'd never read the whole Bible, not even in a year's time let alone my lifetime. But it intrigued me, and I knew my friend Anna was planning to do it too--however, I had twenty-four hours to decide whether or not I'd commit to it with a handful of other young women. It would mean devoting 45 min/hour a day for approximately 16 chapters of the Bible everyday--weekends too. There was only a two day grace period in the whole three months for getting behind or skipping a day. I decided that I would do it, and even though I knew doing this would be important for me at that time, I prayed to be consistent. Very little did I know how thankful I would be that I did! December 2007 marks a time in my life I pray to never relive, and thinking about it still brings the pangs too near. However, I look back and see the grace of my Father ever with me, even if I didn't feel it as near then. But January was basically healing ground from December, and the Bible Quest came perfect timing. Everyday, I looked forward to that hour spent in the Word, and was able to find strength and healing and rest by so many truths, the faithfulness, the heart-and-soul, and the Voice of God. And all at such a crucial time that I needed to hear and know them.
Anna and I knew before we even finished that we'd like to do it again. Only this time, condensing from 16 chapters to 10, so that our busy moms could join in with us and have a better chance at getting through. :-) Our brothers (and my sister) decided to do it too, along with my Jen! It helps so much to do it with someone, to discuss and be accountable to stay caught up--but mostly to share the things the Lord has shown us throughout. We're only on Day 2, and at Genesis 20, so anyone is still welcome to join us if they'd like! It's very unorthodox, and there isn't a schedule...just ten chapters a day, depending on the schedule, and catching up whenever we can. :-)

David prayed, when his soul was yearning for the nearness of the Lord again:
"As the deer pants for the streams of water, so my soul pants for You, O God...why are you so downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him..." (Psalm 42) And again, "O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you...in a dry and weary land..." (Psalm 63)
But in both places, His soul is satisfied in praising the Lord. Abigail told me once that a simple "Thank you, Father" makes a difference. He inhabits the praises of His people--therefore we bring Him into our midst, into our dry and downcast soul, and we're satisfied when we praise Him. Why? To finish Psalm 63: "Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands [and] my soul will be satisfied..."

Be encouraged as you praise Him, beloved of God! His Love is sooo much better, so much greater, than life itself--for this, we praise Him.
Happy rest of your Tuesday...
Jen

Graduation Madness...and Rest.

No telling what this post will be by the time I get to the end of it--but dear friend, this is simply a quick note of news since I can't condure up a worthy post. I've actually written three in the past two weeks, but I wasn't able to finish them or I wasn't satisfied with them. I'd like to be bushy-tailed EVERY time I post, but alas, you have a scattered Jen this evening.

I can't wait til they can brew coffee/tea via internet...so making do, pretend we're sitting on a sunny little window seat, with a cup of creamy chai (or your preference), and we can chat. :-)

If you could see my brain/spirit/functionality, it would be quite hairless thanks to this crazy week. Tomorrow is my sister's graduation party, and we have 112 people on the RSVP list thus far. So we've been cleaning, rearranging, cooking, cleaning some more, decorating, ordering, shopping, cleaning some more...until we just get our next decade's worth of all of it. But...she be worth it, indeed. :-)

My Grandma from San Antonio is visiting and will be with us until the 25th--she and I were able to have a girl day and we went to do some last-minute shopping, and had a good time. I talked myself out of a pair of adorable shoes, but I got lovely bargains on a bunch of books (thank you Lord for thrift store and Christian bookstore!), yay!

Where is your heart my friend?

Unless you would, no need to really say, or comment on that question. :-) I ask to draw you with me to my reflective state (though hazy it is), and share where mine is. Lately, I've prayed to find joy in my journey; not pray for a different journey altogether. I long to be soully beautified by fire--to be refined--and to count it joy when the Lord answers that prayer (regardless of the burn). But I've come to a place where I really pray for rest. Just rest. Just spiritually solitary, quiet, reflective, and...rest. HIS rest. Just to breathe Him in, and sigh Him out. So I pray after this party--and any crack in the time during--to breathe Him in. Breathe His Word, breathe His solitude, breathe in His quiet love. Sound good to you too? Let's do that.

May the God who rejoices over you, be with you. And if His presence is with you, may the peace of it guard your heart and mind against: the enemy, against yourself, and against distraction. Guarding in Christ Jesus--Lover, Quieter, and Rejoicer over your soul. "He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

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I'm just a couple chapters away from finishing Foxe's Book of Martyrs. The past three unpublished posts were potentially my thoughts from reading this, and I pray to share them early next week. But referring to the above thoughts, Elisabeth Elliot noted Lady Jane Grey's (who is mentioned in Foxe's) prayer in Keep a Quiet Heart that she wrote in her prison cell before she was beheaded in 1554. She was only seventeen; it blessed and humbled me very much:

O merciful God, be Thou unto me

A strong tower of defence,

I humbly entreat Thee.

Give me grace to await Thy leisure,

And patiently to bear what Thou doest unto me;

Nothing doubting or mistrusting

Thy goodness towards me,

For Thou knowest what is good for me

Better than I do.

Therefore do with me in all things

What Thou wilt;

Only arm me, I beseech Thee,

With Thine armor

That I may stand fast;

Above all things taking to me

The shield of faith;

Praying always that I may

Refer myself wholly to Thy will,

Abiding Thy pleasure, and comforting myself

In those troubles which it shall please Thee

To send me, seeing such troubles are

Profitable for me; and I am

Assuredly persuaded that all Thou doest

Cannot be but well; and unto Thee

Be all honor and glory. Amen.

After the earthquake, she dons her painting palette...

Paint this picture with me:

NAHUM 1:3-8
"His way is in the whirlwind and the storm,
And clouds are the dust of his feet.
He rebukes the sea and dries it up;
He makes all the rivers run dry.
Bashan and Carmel wither
And the blossoms of Lebannon fade.
The mountains quake before him and the hills melt away.
The earth trembles at his presence,
The world and all who live in it.
Who can withstand his indignation?
Who can endure his fierce anger?
His wrath is poured out like fire; the rocks are shattered before him..."

Then it goes on to say...

"...the Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those tho trust in Him..."

At 4:00 this morning, I painted this picture:
A Prince of power--in his hand is a silver sword, and in his hands it is strong and capable of terrors. Any ememy is dashed to the ground, and anything could be smitten by the snap of his fingers. In his shadow, I am weak and uncapable. I have no control over my own life, or death.
But this Prince loves me...and because of that love, I am safe in the presence of his sword. Because of love, I am not threatened, but protected by that sword. And the terrors of it never even cross my mind.

We were waken up by a 5.2 earthquake somewhere between 3:00-4:00 last night. I've never felt one before, and for my first one it was quite an experience. The house just quaked, the earth roared, and I was just waiting for things to fall off the shelves and walls. I have to say in my sleepy stupor, my very first thought was to look out the window for the sky splitting and the sound of trumpets! But they never came...but neither did quaking fear. I was surprised! We got the kids back to bed and laid down for a couple more hours of sleep, and small aftermath tremors. Though sleep didn't come easy for any of us! :-) I laid there and was thinking about that above "picture", and what Nahum shared (I read this just last week!). The earth trembles, melts, moves, simply in it's Creator's presence. Believe me, when you're laying in bed and the very earth beneath your feet begins to quake...you have NO CONTROL. You're cast upon the mercy of the Creator.
But you know, the earthquake is one of many elements that make up His sword, His footstool. And if a worldly Prince of power (meaning combat ability!) can love his lady with a love that uses what could crush her to protect her...isn't God Almighty, the epitome of LOVE, not greater than he? And even should I be slain by an earthquake, can I cast myself into the trust of that love? A thrilling description of pure, undefiled faith!

I'm enthralled, my friend. Just entralled by the display of His power. I just experienced another tremor, amazingly---I wish I could box this feeling and give it to you!
Just thought I'd take a moment and share the news of So. IL! And the things the Lord has brought to mind, and heart, through it. :-) May you feel the power of the God you serve, beloved, and the love that loves you with that power.

"So happy to love...

...yet so far to go.
Lead me on to where I've never been before." --Jars of Clay
(If you haven't heard the song "Much-Afraid", inspired by Hinds' Feet on High Places, you should get in the quiet and just be rocked in that sweet love)

My thoughts from my week of devotion...
These are just things that came to mind depending on what happened during that day, how I felt, what I read, etc. I'll admit, this and posting were the only things I was faithful at all seven days! My quilt blocks got put back on the shelf, I didn't do anything for anyone out of the ordinary responsibilites, and I didn't read anything outside my Bible Quest. *sigh* We shall try again, perhaps. :-)

Monday--
Time is a gift to me. Does too much of it get unworthily spent as it flies by? Does the dilligence that I do or do not fill it with prove how "important" things are to me?

Tuesday--
Weariness brings me back to You.

Wednesday--
"When the darkness closes in, still I'm gonna say blessed be Your name." --Matt Redmond

Thursday--
In the beauty and simplicity of a budding lily, I see He is bigger than everything I see. His ways, His workings, His plan--all a bigger scheme than I can see. All I have left to do, is trust.

Friday--
I love Him. This being all I know is all I WANT to know. 1 Peter 1:8

Saturday--
He who does not work does not eat. :-) So I purposefully press on to the world of Sears & Roebuck for a mere five hours.

Sunday--
The significance of another LIFE. Your life in mine. The words you say to me, the things you do with/for me, etc. Today I was blessed by other lives--my Pastor's heartfelt message, my Uncle's giving of himself through music and real fellowship, the silent reassurance of friendship in my cousin's arm, and the joy of being loved by other lives.

Rather scattered and random, but these things blessed me during that haaarrdd week. This week didn't prove to be much different--but I had a greater and surer assurance of His being with me...and that fills me with hope, dear one. "Sweet Jesus, you never ever let me go"...that song is on my playlist, I pray it blesses you as much as it does me.

I've been somewhat a recluse this week, and I'm sorry! I will probably continue to be except in the mornings after I'm done with work in the office. I'm trying to get this next issue of Cameratismo collaborated together---and this article has sent me soul-searching into the closets...literally and very spiritually. Pray for me, please. :-)
So until this baby (what it is to me when it's all done!) is printed, folded, stapled and posted--thou shalt hear from me via phone, e-mail or cloud messaging...should any of you have an airplane. ::hug::

With happy love,
Jen

Day One

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braded hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

.::~1 Peter 3:3-4~::.

One of the many things that stood off the pages of 1 Peter this evening. The words inner self, unfading beauty, gentle, quiet, and great worth. :-) The things I long to have as a woman after the Father's heart. In light of imperishable things, the menial things of the world fade away. My menial concerns, my little annoyances with the pattern of life...all gray in contrast to the riches of Who He is, and Who He means for me to be.

There's so much more worth in the gentle. In the quiet. In the beauty of the inner self.

::date on picture is wrong::

Above is a piece of my designated haven. As designated as living with ten people, and sharing a room with three other girls can get---but I love it. I had a hard time picking what today's picture would be, and wanting to show you my lovely yard sale purchase--the Italian-style lamp and shade at left--I thought I'd share a whole wall of my place of refuge. This is my desk, beside my bed, where I keep my favorite books handy, and a small supply of dark chocolate. The word TRUST hanging on the wall was given to me from Anna (made by her talented brother!), and is a reminder of many truths that have become dear to me.

And above that, a painting of an Italian cafe. :-)

Be blessed, friend, on this sleepy Monday night. May another weekday/workday bring you word of His unfailing love (Ps. 143:8), as by His love for you, He stirs your heart with the inner beauty of Who He is. :-)

Until tomorrow...

Jen

"There is as much difference between spiritual joys and earthly as between a banquet that is eaten and one that is painted on the wall." ~Thomas Watson

Something worthwhile to add to my day...

"Thank you, Father."

'Tis all a day needs.

It's been a few weeks since I posted, and several things have come to my attention. :-) Funny things. Neglected things. And things that are hard, but I know would be to my good. So I thought I'd share them with you--you precious people who I find to be most real and vulnerable with. I said MOST, but even with you, I will honestly confess, I fail to be. I pray to be better, because it's a precious thing and have recently been reminded of it's imperishable value. There are boundaries of extremes...on one side, I know I could be more real with you, my dear friend. On the flipside, there are things that are only meant to be bare before the Throne.

Oh dear, [end of speel] .

I have thought of something that sounds fun! Would you like to join me? Resolutions of sorts, but I won't venture to call them that thanks to the curse of inconsistency with that term. :-) Little things I will devote (code word for "try") to daily for a week, starting Monday 3-24-08. Devotion is easier, beneficial, and so much more fun when you have someone to do/share it with. But only if you'd like to, I just want to throw this out there to do together!

I'd love ideas from you too, and your list doesn't have to be long. The minimum is one item, and the max is up to you! And we can borrow ideas, hence the doing them together. So if you'd like to do this with me, post your list so I can borrow from you!

Here is my list/example thus far, but may be added to when I hear from you:

1. Posting a blog entry *gasp*
2. Embroidering one color on a whole quilt block (do all the green on Mon, then the pink on Tues...)
3. Writing down one thought for everyday (and posting it them at the end of the week).
4. Spend one moment (timeframe undefined) in solitude.
5. Do something particular for someone else.

Mind you, this is daily. And I think it would be fun to swap ideas, and throughout talk about what we're doing. 1) Good habits may come of them and 2) who knows what we can learn together! No pressure or expectations, only what you put on yourself--your blog entry could be just a quote, and your moment in solitude spent driving to work, etc, etc.

What do you think??? Give me ideas!

Will. And not the kind producing pawn material. Though I'd love to pawn off mine...

Whatta Wednesday.
I have to say it didn't start out as a desirable Wednesday, but I smile.
I can smell the chicken & rice soup boilin' in the kitchen.
1 Kings was rather monotonous, but amusing in such a way the sun began to shine.
The snow melted and made everything soppy...but there's gobs and gobs of it falling, falling, falling as we Speak. Type. Read. Whatnot.
The kitchen floor is mopped.
And I'm chatting with LeAnna about the cruel humor she finds in her crazy cat...and bazookaing helicopters scoping out land for a gas plant on my house. :-)

And Jen is happy...about to burst out laughing for no reason. I will inform you, friend, I didn't feel this way just five minutes ago. In fact, I felt so emotionally unstable that I was gonna breakdown over something miniscule. Not miniscule to me. Miniscule to my capable God.
Notice a key something right there: not miniscule to me, miniscule to Him.
Why is it such a mountain to me, if it isn't to Him...especially when I'm loved by Him, seen by Him, carried by Him? Shouldn't my fear be overridden by His fearlessness? Praise God, it's not even fearlessness, it's superiority!
The word override means 1) to set aside by superior authority; cancel. Or 2) to prevail over. Like the law of gravity overrides my desire to fly.
A superior amount of water overrides the existence of fire.
So my God's capability, faithfulness, fearlessness, love, etc..."should" cancel out any of the opposite I produce in myself; my will per say. To set it aside, because my Superior Authority loves me and overrides any mountain I have to climb, simply because it's a spec of dust to Him.
Notice I worded it "should", meaning thanks to my will, it doesn't always happen that way. But He's teaching, hence the mountain/reason to trust.
This is where joy in the suffering comes to mind. A friend put it so perfectly about our will...it kicks against our circumstances. To trust Him in such a way, that I stop kicking against my circumstances and embrace them. To see the sunshine without the pain being watered down, is just another act of laying down my will. When we joy in right where we are, knowing He's put me here, is here with me (not left me here!), all simply because He's God and I am not. Stopping the kicking, and clinging to the joy to be found makes a contrast of difference. :-)

Whew. So I'm ready to have some chicken and rice soup...wanna have some with me? I just realized LeAnna may be rubbing off on me for outta nowhere, I mentioned food...though I don't think any recipe requesters are going to be satisfied with our unfancy chicken soup. :-)
Nothing a little cheyenne pepper wouldn't do for.

Have a blessed Wednesday, my friend--I pray we can climb to find this joy together. The reason our mountains are here are to teach us so. So even if we only find a measure of it in this fact, praise God; He is God, and I am not.
--hug--

Neither life...nor death...

"We are hard pressed on every side,

But not crushed;

Perplexed, but not in despair;

Persecuted, but not abandoned;

Struck down, but not destroyed.

We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus,

So that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake,

So that His life may be revealed in our mortal body."

2 Corinthians 4:7-11

This line spoke to me the most: always being given over to death.
LeAnna and I talked the night before last, AND last night. One thing she shared that really stood out to me was that so many people we know (including ourselves)--very particularly and specifically strong believers in Christ--are under great oppression of some kind. And not just little trials, big things that bring our soul a taste of death. Whether they be Suffering of Circumstances or Suffering of Self, or Suffering of Sacrifice...it seems everyone is faced with true pain of some kind, overwhelming us to the point of brokenness. All especially where the suffering isn't merited--in circumstances that haven't been brought on by bad choices or mistakes...they're simply valleys the Lord leads us through that ask greater things of us.
We're always being given over to death.
Paul could have made up a synopsis like this: Okay, to fair warn anyone interested in venturing through life with Jesus Christ, you will encounter valleys deep, dark, lonely, taxing, and utterly and completely unknown. But do not fear, the valleys don't hurt much and we get breaks in between.
But he didn't. He did say that we share in [Christ's] sufferings (Phil. 3:10), the sufferings of Christ flow into our lives (2 Cor. 1:5)...yet our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us (Romans 8:17-18).

We're always being given over to death. I want to look up the Greek meaning to this particular "always"...does it mean momentarily? Permanently? Consistently?
For me, I glean from what it means in the general English...always. Daily, momentally....He's refining, working, challenging, and carrying us through the greater things. And discouragingly, because His work is so intricate, nothing can be noticed until we can see it in a bigger picture.

As I've made my way through the Old Testament, always being given over to death, is the life theme of so many honored people.
Abraham's most treasured possession was asked of him...after it was promised to him.
Jacob's entire lifetime's story was moving from one valley to the next valley.
Joseph--one suffering, one abandonment, one disappointed dream after another. But though he was pressed, persecuted, and struck down...."Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good." (Genesis 50:19-20)
And currently, Ruth and Hannah....both bearing the broken hearts of nothing "merited". One from loss of a loved one; the other from lack of one.

The beauty of these lives isn't beauty without the fires they were asked to pass through.
And who am I, that God would take the time to refine me? How is it that I have been counted worthy to refine? "Worthy" is a perfected state...so where is the sense in this oxymoron of refining it?
God's overwhelming, and humbling grace--if you can't see it my friend, think about the depths of the Cross. Think about your Sin Offering...and the love that He still chooses to perfect in you daily.

No, my sufferings aren't watered down by these thoughts. And the bitter taste of spiritual death makes me want to crawl away (spiritually) and let it run it's course. The days surely come where I barely have enough strength to lift my eyes to the hills.
I have to remember and cling to:
His love and goodness embrace both my pleasure and my pain. It doesn't magnify or eliminate...but embraces. Yes, He leads me through valleys--He doesn't send me through them. By leading, He is with me. "Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death", the one we're always walking through, "I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me."
My Immanuel, who stepped before the Altar of God to make blood atonement for the world...is with me, with as much love and understanding of suffering as if He is still being stripped of His flesh, and stripped of His Father's love.

Beloved of the Most High--this is why you and I joy in our sufferings: The life and glory of the Living God are being revealed in more powerful proportions than fiery evangelists, popular devotionals, and sermons from the pulpit. It's in your life, in the pain if not moreso than the victory, that Jesus Christ is being glorified.

Be encouraged by the Goodness that embraces your pleasure; the beautiful things that make life worth living.
AND be encouraged by the Goodness that embraces your pain; the beautiful things that make us reach for the greater things.

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution...? As it is written: 'For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.' In these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that
neither death nor life,
neither angels nor demons,
neither the present nor the future,
nor any powers,
neither height nor depth,
not anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus."
--Romans 8:35-39--

That love that knows my suffering, that love that knows my pain; for His sake, we face death all day long. And it's more blessed for us, because we never, ever face it alone...and nothing can make it so.