The treasure in a year...

Days sit like grains of sand
Nights fall like drops of rain
My eyes see such miniscule meaning
So little are their effect on my life.

But His eyes see something greater
See the sand on the shore?
Each grain makes up the body
Each day makes up my destiny.

His hands mold something more beautiful
See the ocean made up of those nights?
Whether with tears, or with prayers, or with dreams
With all of them, God works at His best.

One year has passed
And I don't see grains or drops
I see treasures I don't deserve
And ground taken by Grace alone.

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Yesterday marked an anniversary for me.
An anniversary of learning to trust, though I can't say I've accomplished anything--I'm glad for the baby steps.
What a year's time holds in the plans of God are so amazing, even though the little grains and drops be painful or small or misunderstood. The grand picture He's working on is so much bigger than me. What I could scheme or plan would be so meaningless and so empty--it's HE who makes this life so full of good things. Why would I wish any other Author over this breath of life I don't deserve?
"You search me and know me...you know..." (Psalm 139)
"Be still and know I am God..."

"In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus..."--Jeremy Camp

"Your earlier life was narrow and intense, settled around a little sun-spot of experience; then God withdrew His conscious blessings in order to teach you to walk by faith." --Oswald Chambers

Makes me miss the sunspot my early faith was. Yes, I struggled...the blossoming of my desire to know the Lord personally was hard as any growing pains are. The knowledge of one battle strengthening you for the next must be true, cause they just seem to always get harder. Faith shines the brightest in adversity--it's what FAITH IS. It's easy to fall into the routine of subconsciously thinking faith means everything is going okay! But faith blossoms not from anything we can fashion, all when the sick sensation of "not knowing" begins to choke our hope.
It comes down to precious trust.
Do we truly trust Him? Truly with the sleeping childlike trust that would cast our life on the invisable? On the dreaded unknown? Like a child in the protective arms of a father, the dreaded unknown isn't dreaded. It's just unknown...and it's okay! Faith stands upon that rock: Trust. We have faith based on our trust in His love...the knowledge of His love gives us the foothold to cast it all upon Him.

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Hope, sweet hope.
Placed in the world it is lost.
Love is forgotten.
Peace is stolen.
Everything of precious value is cast away.

There is a Fortress,
Love is known and He is warm.
Peace is in the foundations of His Being,
Hope placed in Him gains her reward.

In this Lover, you can fall without fear,
You can speak and He understands,
You can be broken and He will heal,
You can fail and He loves you even still.

You've seen nothing so beautiful,
Never beheld the extrordinary,
You've been deceived in your knowledge of love,
Until you meet Him.
He is beauty, He is romance.
He is sacrifice.
He is selflessness.
He is warmth, joy, rest.
He is unstoppable in His pursuits, and He pursues me.

Give me this One.
Thousands of years cannot define Him.
Universes cannot contain Him.
This One that adores me. This One who calls me by name.
Give me this One.