Crying like a baby on a [Monday] in the snow...

(sounds like a country song)
Look to the east...Jen posted twice in two days??? :-)

So I woke up to a dreary Saturday morning. My Saturdays are typically like Garfield's Mondays, cause it means a long shift on a busy day. It means by the end of it, I'm starving, achy and my feet are akillin' me. Thankfully, I didn't have to be at work until 1, so I had some time to mosy about home.
My morning didn't start good at all. My spirit couldn't find it's resting place, so I shut myself in the quiet. :-) I know it helped, but in seeking joy and strength for the day, I found the longest sob session I've known in my 20 years. I don't remember hiccuping from tears since I was liitttle. That knotty feeling in your chest that builds into your throat before you cry seemed to just linger and linger and linger. I sat on the floor next to my hope chest where my stereo sits and just cried in the quiet, listening to Jeremy Camp's "Give me Jesus" over and over and over again...searching and feeling so wandersome.
Questions made no sense at all. Answers seemed like ash. The dagger in my soul just so happens to be something precious to me...of I pull it out, will I die? Leave it there, will I die?
When it hurts, it feels so good to cry. Wonder what the Lord thought of when He gave us the gift of crying. When the floodgates of all you're keeping from Him break in surrender, there's something so beautiful in the peace that overflows afterwords.

I took my CD with me and listened to it on my way to work...goodness it was cold! The day was all silvery gray, like it looks when it snows only without the snow. :-) It looked so sleepy, so quiet...it was so sweet to have those 30 minutes of driving, while the weather and the music reflected what my spirit needed so much. Simple, beautiful quiet.
The 10-hr shift was good for me...just to have my hands busy, my mind occupied, my worries momentarily cast aside. :-) Screaming kids and picky moms have that kinda effect.
When the day finally came to an end, exhausted and sore, I closed the studio and walked out into something that made me laugh out loud.
Snow.
Lots of it!
Wispy, sparkly, and sticky, and it wasn't stoppin'.
I had to drive 35 mph to get home safely, but there was no where else and no other speed I would've rather been going. It was so pretty...so peaceful. :-) I popped Jeremy Camp right back in and just watched it fall as I drove home in the dark. Nothing like it, I tell you.

"Where is the trust being worked out in my life if I think good things are from God but bad things are some mistake? Trust is believing that He is good in every situation, that He has a plan and reason in every situation, that His love is in every situation." (Andrea hit that on the nose--ylcf.org)

He is still good. He is still faithful. He is still Immanuel...still with me. No suffering, no heartache, no decision made by man can ever change Him. His promises still ring true, His love still endures forever---and "even when I don't deserve, [He always shows] the fullness of [His] love."

Amen.