To be like Christ.

To displace self from the inner throne, and to enthrone Him;

To make not the slightest compromise with the smallest sin.

We aim at nothing less than to walk with God all day long,

To abide every hour in Christ and He and His words in us,

To love God with all the heart and our neighbor as ourselves.

It is possible to cast every care on Him daily, and to be at peace amidst pressure,

To see the will of God in everything

To put away all bitterness and clamor and evil speaking--daily and hourly.

It is possible by unreserved resort to divine power under divine conditions

To become strongest through and through at our weakest point.

---Bishop Handley Moule

Making me...

"We have a beautiful synonym for 'baptize' in English, found in no other language, the verb 'christen'. It is made up of the noun Christ and the greek suffix en, meaning 'to make'. When you whiten a wall, you make it white. When you brighten a room, you make it bright. When God christens a person, God makes him Christ. Christ lives in us and our sufferings are His passion continuing in the world."

--Lion & Lamb, Brennan Manning

I AM

Another week come and gone--and it was so busy my head is still spinning, and I feel as if there's still so much more to do. That's because there is, but we deal with it patiently! It will be there tomorrow, and it's justified to say so when you truly try your best. Whew.

Though I had a good time at VBS with the kids this past week, I was happy when it was over. We learned some new songs with hand motions to teach the kids at church, which should be as much fun as interesting! :-) My work/household routines were completely thrown off, and like I shared on tonight's prayer chat, the timing of supper (or anything else for that matter) is like the timing of the rotation of the earth. I find preparations are done the day before, if not the afternoon, that they are needed. I'm weeks behind on my Bible quest, but not giving up yet! Good things get neglected for urgent, but menial, things. All for finding a balance to be a better steward of precious time.

But these things truly are the simple annoyances that they are. All in contrast to how great the Almighty God is, and the things HE chooses to be a Good, Perfect, and Loving steward over. Simple things like this. Complex things, like ME. And beautiful things He does in His spare infinity.
"There is a chronic temptation to reduce God to human dimensions, to express Him in manageable ideas. Human reason seeks to understand, to reduce everything to it's own terms. But God is God. He is more than a super human being with an intellect keener than ours and a capacity for loving greater than ours. He is Unique, Uncreated, Infinite, Totally Other than we are. He surpasses and transcends all human concepts, considerations, and expectations. He is beyond anything we can intellectualize or imagine. That is why God is a scandal to men and women--because He cannot be comprehended by a finite mind." --Brennan Manning, Lion & Lamb

It was a breath of fresh air to read this, and many simple and elementary truths spelled out as I read Lion & Lamb this morning. Lately, I've been seeking to heal my relationship with my Father. He's not left, and I've not "strayed"...but there's a need for a refreshing of late. A washing, renewing, morning of my heart and His. I feel Him near still. But He is not as close, not as present, not as audible, etc. His voice isn't speaking from the bushes, and the warm thick of His Presence doesn't come in the quiet place. Maybe He's teaching me to rest in the solid rock of His Presence, His Love, His I AM, without my feeling it. Because regardless of the tree in the woods, when it comes to I Am, whether I feel it or not...He's There. That's a cause for a reaction of joy on my part, if I ever needed one.

My shower and bed are calling me, as the morning will come too early for my liking. Tomorrow is another day He has made; and the axis of the earth are not based on my daily routines. Everywhere children are orphaned and/or starving, my brothers and sisters in Christ are being persecuted, and kingdoms are growing more and more corrupt. Remembering these things helps me to reduce my annoyances to their respectful place, and learn to trust I AM a little bit more today.

"In His presence is fullness of joy..." may you find/remember/see that this week, my friend.

Note: Jack & Josh wouldn't load last night or today--this week's video may be too long.
Note again: Mexico update to share soon. :-)

Dwelling on Good Things

Yay for a Saturday off. My boss thought I'd be upset. And I laugh. :-) Yes, I'm SO thankful for my job...but I laughed indeed. It happened that they weren't busy and were sufficiently staffed. So I get to stay home, clean house and cook food for 30+ people that will be here tonight. Why? To mention a prayer request first: my great uncle (my Grandpa's--Dad's dad--brother) has recently been diagnosed with cancer of glands, but I can't remember which. He's had some health problems for awhile, currently with a clogged artery in his leg. He's smoked all his life, but has lately given that up. His wife has gone to church for years, but only in the past couple has he gone with her and has truly enjoyed it. You can see the glory and the change in his heart (though he's always had a teddy bear one!), and it's humbling to see. But this is a hard time for his wife, kids, grandkids, etc. Please pray for him, and for them all--he's been in such wonderful spirits, and giving the Lord the faith and glory in each step. You can't help but find the joy when you see him, instead of feeling sorry. He's ready for whatever his God leads him through.
He's somewhat the main reason we're getting together tonight--we rarely do this on this side of the family altogether. We get along and such, but the getting-together is really hard to motivate and make happen. So we're praying for a good time with everyone, since it may be a long time before we do it again. Thank you for any prayers!

If RanchWife calls herself a slacker, I don't know what I am! Non-existent? :-)
But lately as I sit down in front of a text box, it seems the words don't come--and if they're negative, I can't bring myself to post them. Please don't become self-conscious now my much-loved bloggers, it's just an issue with me! I want a good, light-hearted, spiritually joyous post everytime--despite the fact that it doesn't need to be the case. There's the ups and downs. Period. No getting around them, and on a positive note: even the downs are for the GOOD. :-)
But it's not that there hasn't been anything going on...perhaps that's why, cause I'm ready for the craziness of life to settle down. We've had graduation, visiting family, a live-in Grandma (which has been wonderful!), work, church, and random/spontaneous/groove-thrower-offers to just make your hair fall out. But the Lord is good, and the river has to come to a still brook sometime we know.

Speaking of dwelling on good things (thanks LeAnna & Jen for listening and sparking the thoughts!), I'll share something that came to mind while reading about Jacob this week; a story I learn from each time I go through it. In the midst of getting frusterated with sisters Leah (who was unloved) and Rachel (who was loved by her husband), I saw something of Leah to think about. In that day in time, the people named their children/land/property after where they were in life. And here is what Leah named her first four sons: "When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. Leah become pregnant and gave birth to..."

Reuben: "Is is because the lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now."
Simeon: "Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too."
Levi: "Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons."
Judah: "This time I will praise the Lord."

The repetative nature of the names show that Jacob still didn't favor Leah even after his sons were born (or at least, Leah doesn't feel it). But reading it, I could feel her agony and suffering as it seemed to consume her. Being unloved by the man she was bound to probably consumed her thoughts, consumed her lifestyle, etc, therefore made her miserable. But here, at the birth of Judah (that happens to be the line of David, therefore the line of Christ), she simply praises the Lord. Not because her husband loves her now, because reading further she becomes desperate again as both women offer their servants to produce offspring for them. But she stops--no more dwelling on what she doesn't have, but praising the Lord. It made me wonder about the things we want, wish were different, or any current battles: spiritually speaking, what would we name things if they was based on where our hearts lie? Would it be consumed in what we want, or praising the Lord regardless? It stepped on my toes for one, but it's an encouraging thought still. My God is Sovereign. He's God--and I am not. So our call to higher hope, a hope of glory (Colossians 1:26-27), is to praise Him for the goodness He's ALWAYS working in us.

May that higher hope in your Jesus produce the strengthening joy we're to give account for. :-)
Love and prayers for your weekend,
Jen

Tuesday Musings & Praises...

Good afternoon, friend...how is your Tuesday so far? I thought mine would be harder than it's been; here's a praise the Lord #1. :-) Praise the Lord #2 is we've been able to turn the AC off today because there's a cool breeze--and I stop to thank Him for it, cause we don't ever get this at this time in the year--and I know of lots of people that would be thankful for it too! New Mexico? I'll say a prayer that He'll send you some, and some rain mixed in there too!
Praise the Lord #3, that I have a job. Even though I've got cabin fever from being in this office since 8 this morning, and a headache from staring at a computer and talking on the phone, I'm glad I have a paycheck. That's more than alot of people have to say right now--so I thank the Lord for this!
The awesome Word of God...praise the Lord #4. On January 31st of this year, I looked into a Bible Quest on HeartThoughts Retreat that started the very next day (Feb 1st). It was a quest to read the entire Bible, from Genesis to Revelation, in 90 days. It sounded really hard, especially since I'd never read the whole Bible, not even in a year's time let alone my lifetime. But it intrigued me, and I knew my friend Anna was planning to do it too--however, I had twenty-four hours to decide whether or not I'd commit to it with a handful of other young women. It would mean devoting 45 min/hour a day for approximately 16 chapters of the Bible everyday--weekends too. There was only a two day grace period in the whole three months for getting behind or skipping a day. I decided that I would do it, and even though I knew doing this would be important for me at that time, I prayed to be consistent. Very little did I know how thankful I would be that I did! December 2007 marks a time in my life I pray to never relive, and thinking about it still brings the pangs too near. However, I look back and see the grace of my Father ever with me, even if I didn't feel it as near then. But January was basically healing ground from December, and the Bible Quest came perfect timing. Everyday, I looked forward to that hour spent in the Word, and was able to find strength and healing and rest by so many truths, the faithfulness, the heart-and-soul, and the Voice of God. And all at such a crucial time that I needed to hear and know them.
Anna and I knew before we even finished that we'd like to do it again. Only this time, condensing from 16 chapters to 10, so that our busy moms could join in with us and have a better chance at getting through. :-) Our brothers (and my sister) decided to do it too, along with my Jen! It helps so much to do it with someone, to discuss and be accountable to stay caught up--but mostly to share the things the Lord has shown us throughout. We're only on Day 2, and at Genesis 20, so anyone is still welcome to join us if they'd like! It's very unorthodox, and there isn't a schedule...just ten chapters a day, depending on the schedule, and catching up whenever we can. :-)

David prayed, when his soul was yearning for the nearness of the Lord again:
"As the deer pants for the streams of water, so my soul pants for You, O God...why are you so downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him..." (Psalm 42) And again, "O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you...in a dry and weary land..." (Psalm 63)
But in both places, His soul is satisfied in praising the Lord. Abigail told me once that a simple "Thank you, Father" makes a difference. He inhabits the praises of His people--therefore we bring Him into our midst, into our dry and downcast soul, and we're satisfied when we praise Him. Why? To finish Psalm 63: "Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands [and] my soul will be satisfied..."

Be encouraged as you praise Him, beloved of God! His Love is sooo much better, so much greater, than life itself--for this, we praise Him.
Happy rest of your Tuesday...
Jen

Graduation Madness...and Rest.

No telling what this post will be by the time I get to the end of it--but dear friend, this is simply a quick note of news since I can't condure up a worthy post. I've actually written three in the past two weeks, but I wasn't able to finish them or I wasn't satisfied with them. I'd like to be bushy-tailed EVERY time I post, but alas, you have a scattered Jen this evening.

I can't wait til they can brew coffee/tea via internet...so making do, pretend we're sitting on a sunny little window seat, with a cup of creamy chai (or your preference), and we can chat. :-)

If you could see my brain/spirit/functionality, it would be quite hairless thanks to this crazy week. Tomorrow is my sister's graduation party, and we have 112 people on the RSVP list thus far. So we've been cleaning, rearranging, cooking, cleaning some more, decorating, ordering, shopping, cleaning some more...until we just get our next decade's worth of all of it. But...she be worth it, indeed. :-)

My Grandma from San Antonio is visiting and will be with us until the 25th--she and I were able to have a girl day and we went to do some last-minute shopping, and had a good time. I talked myself out of a pair of adorable shoes, but I got lovely bargains on a bunch of books (thank you Lord for thrift store and Christian bookstore!), yay!

Where is your heart my friend?

Unless you would, no need to really say, or comment on that question. :-) I ask to draw you with me to my reflective state (though hazy it is), and share where mine is. Lately, I've prayed to find joy in my journey; not pray for a different journey altogether. I long to be soully beautified by fire--to be refined--and to count it joy when the Lord answers that prayer (regardless of the burn). But I've come to a place where I really pray for rest. Just rest. Just spiritually solitary, quiet, reflective, and...rest. HIS rest. Just to breathe Him in, and sigh Him out. So I pray after this party--and any crack in the time during--to breathe Him in. Breathe His Word, breathe His solitude, breathe in His quiet love. Sound good to you too? Let's do that.

May the God who rejoices over you, be with you. And if His presence is with you, may the peace of it guard your heart and mind against: the enemy, against yourself, and against distraction. Guarding in Christ Jesus--Lover, Quieter, and Rejoicer over your soul. "He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

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I'm just a couple chapters away from finishing Foxe's Book of Martyrs. The past three unpublished posts were potentially my thoughts from reading this, and I pray to share them early next week. But referring to the above thoughts, Elisabeth Elliot noted Lady Jane Grey's (who is mentioned in Foxe's) prayer in Keep a Quiet Heart that she wrote in her prison cell before she was beheaded in 1554. She was only seventeen; it blessed and humbled me very much:

O merciful God, be Thou unto me

A strong tower of defence,

I humbly entreat Thee.

Give me grace to await Thy leisure,

And patiently to bear what Thou doest unto me;

Nothing doubting or mistrusting

Thy goodness towards me,

For Thou knowest what is good for me

Better than I do.

Therefore do with me in all things

What Thou wilt;

Only arm me, I beseech Thee,

With Thine armor

That I may stand fast;

Above all things taking to me

The shield of faith;

Praying always that I may

Refer myself wholly to Thy will,

Abiding Thy pleasure, and comforting myself

In those troubles which it shall please Thee

To send me, seeing such troubles are

Profitable for me; and I am

Assuredly persuaded that all Thou doest

Cannot be but well; and unto Thee

Be all honor and glory. Amen.

After the earthquake, she dons her painting palette...

Paint this picture with me:

NAHUM 1:3-8
"His way is in the whirlwind and the storm,
And clouds are the dust of his feet.
He rebukes the sea and dries it up;
He makes all the rivers run dry.
Bashan and Carmel wither
And the blossoms of Lebannon fade.
The mountains quake before him and the hills melt away.
The earth trembles at his presence,
The world and all who live in it.
Who can withstand his indignation?
Who can endure his fierce anger?
His wrath is poured out like fire; the rocks are shattered before him..."

Then it goes on to say...

"...the Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble.
He cares for those tho trust in Him..."

At 4:00 this morning, I painted this picture:
A Prince of power--in his hand is a silver sword, and in his hands it is strong and capable of terrors. Any ememy is dashed to the ground, and anything could be smitten by the snap of his fingers. In his shadow, I am weak and uncapable. I have no control over my own life, or death.
But this Prince loves me...and because of that love, I am safe in the presence of his sword. Because of love, I am not threatened, but protected by that sword. And the terrors of it never even cross my mind.

We were waken up by a 5.2 earthquake somewhere between 3:00-4:00 last night. I've never felt one before, and for my first one it was quite an experience. The house just quaked, the earth roared, and I was just waiting for things to fall off the shelves and walls. I have to say in my sleepy stupor, my very first thought was to look out the window for the sky splitting and the sound of trumpets! But they never came...but neither did quaking fear. I was surprised! We got the kids back to bed and laid down for a couple more hours of sleep, and small aftermath tremors. Though sleep didn't come easy for any of us! :-) I laid there and was thinking about that above "picture", and what Nahum shared (I read this just last week!). The earth trembles, melts, moves, simply in it's Creator's presence. Believe me, when you're laying in bed and the very earth beneath your feet begins to quake...you have NO CONTROL. You're cast upon the mercy of the Creator.
But you know, the earthquake is one of many elements that make up His sword, His footstool. And if a worldly Prince of power (meaning combat ability!) can love his lady with a love that uses what could crush her to protect her...isn't God Almighty, the epitome of LOVE, not greater than he? And even should I be slain by an earthquake, can I cast myself into the trust of that love? A thrilling description of pure, undefiled faith!

I'm enthralled, my friend. Just entralled by the display of His power. I just experienced another tremor, amazingly---I wish I could box this feeling and give it to you!
Just thought I'd take a moment and share the news of So. IL! And the things the Lord has brought to mind, and heart, through it. :-) May you feel the power of the God you serve, beloved, and the love that loves you with that power.

He Absorbs Me Patiently...

Suggestion Before Reading: Scroll down to playlist and click "Your Love is Extravagant". :-)

I woke up at a quarter 'til 6, before the rays of sunlight peaked over the neighbor's trees to the east. To be honest, the norm for me has been to simply lay there. Awake. But with no zeal whatsoever to get up until I absolutely have to. No gumption to rise to pray, begin the day in His Word (His voice, His breathing life), seek solitude. But this morning I put my feet to the floor, with a desperate searching to fill this emptiness that the past week has permiated of.
There's a different stillness in the early morning that demands reflection. It demands contemplation. When I went out this morning, the sun was orange against the blue/gray sky, and not quite warm enough to knock the chill out of the air. But it was clear and cool, and immersed in a stillness that cannot be found anywhere but in the early morning...and in His Presence.

I'm tired of passing excuse of my emptiness, present affliction, daily battles on anything other than myself. Of course, I leave room for reasons for battles I cannot understand...but sometimes it just comes down to my veering eyes. Veering and wandering eyes do not mean that I bow and scrape to an idol of gold, nor offer myself up for worldy practices. It means I've lost focus on what is precious to me, and Who I'm precious to. Therefore I stumble, and then cry out the "whys" of why I'm in this spiritual/emotional mess.

He absorbs me patiently.
He is strong enough to bear my "whys", and so wonderful enough to hold me through them.
Oh my God...this Love. How can it be?
Your fragrance is intoxicating in this secret place, and I forget why I veer.
Spread wide in the Arms of Christ, is a Love that covers sin.
He's captured my heart again. Something He's good at when we bring our eyes into focus.

I become aware of my bitter affliciton,
I become intricately aware and subject to it,
And my soul is broken within me.
Yet this I demand myself to remember,
And it brings me hope:
Because I am loved by the Almighty God, I am not consumed in this,
Because His compassions and love are patient.
Every morning, they are renewed for me...
Great, oh great, is His faithfulness!
I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion (He is enough for me),
Therefore I wait for Him."
---Lamentations 3:19-41, in my own words

"So happy to love...

...yet so far to go.
Lead me on to where I've never been before." --Jars of Clay
(If you haven't heard the song "Much-Afraid", inspired by Hinds' Feet on High Places, you should get in the quiet and just be rocked in that sweet love)

My thoughts from my week of devotion...
These are just things that came to mind depending on what happened during that day, how I felt, what I read, etc. I'll admit, this and posting were the only things I was faithful at all seven days! My quilt blocks got put back on the shelf, I didn't do anything for anyone out of the ordinary responsibilites, and I didn't read anything outside my Bible Quest. *sigh* We shall try again, perhaps. :-)

Monday--
Time is a gift to me. Does too much of it get unworthily spent as it flies by? Does the dilligence that I do or do not fill it with prove how "important" things are to me?

Tuesday--
Weariness brings me back to You.

Wednesday--
"When the darkness closes in, still I'm gonna say blessed be Your name." --Matt Redmond

Thursday--
In the beauty and simplicity of a budding lily, I see He is bigger than everything I see. His ways, His workings, His plan--all a bigger scheme than I can see. All I have left to do, is trust.

Friday--
I love Him. This being all I know is all I WANT to know. 1 Peter 1:8

Saturday--
He who does not work does not eat. :-) So I purposefully press on to the world of Sears & Roebuck for a mere five hours.

Sunday--
The significance of another LIFE. Your life in mine. The words you say to me, the things you do with/for me, etc. Today I was blessed by other lives--my Pastor's heartfelt message, my Uncle's giving of himself through music and real fellowship, the silent reassurance of friendship in my cousin's arm, and the joy of being loved by other lives.

Rather scattered and random, but these things blessed me during that haaarrdd week. This week didn't prove to be much different--but I had a greater and surer assurance of His being with me...and that fills me with hope, dear one. "Sweet Jesus, you never ever let me go"...that song is on my playlist, I pray it blesses you as much as it does me.

I've been somewhat a recluse this week, and I'm sorry! I will probably continue to be except in the mornings after I'm done with work in the office. I'm trying to get this next issue of Cameratismo collaborated together---and this article has sent me soul-searching into the closets...literally and very spiritually. Pray for me, please. :-)
So until this baby (what it is to me when it's all done!) is printed, folded, stapled and posted--thou shalt hear from me via phone, e-mail or cloud messaging...should any of you have an airplane. ::hug::

With happy love,
Jen

Day Five

Friday tends to mark the end of the week...but it's only day five. :-) This has been so much harder than I thought, but I'm glad I did it. And I won't say I'll never do it again, cause I've learned an awful lot in simply the everyday.

"With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you..."

2 Peter 3:8-9

I wonder what a whole day is to the Lord in detail. It's amazing what a whole day is to me...critical in the course of my life, but here and gone and forgotten by the next one. I was thinking today....I don't remember what I did last Friday. Don't remember a single solitary thing.

But it was important, I know. :-)

Following the lovely M. Blackwell's lead (by the way, I totally claim Gertie!), I'm going to post something I'm thankful for. I'm thankful for everyday. This week has shown me how the days are so unpredictable...when your feet hit the floor when you climb out of bed, you don't know what "mood" this day is going to have. Yet, I tend to see the woe before the gracious.

I'm thankful for the everyday. The mundane. The things I cannot change. I'm thankful for them. Because I'm here in their midst for a reason, and pray with all my heart that I grow in them for the better.

So I'm thanking my Father for them, and it's like a walk against the grain. Like spitting in the face of what is tearing you down, and finding the courage to pick yourself up again. Thank Him for what you're overcoming. :-) It's there, and He's here with me...that makes the everyday so much more bearable.

(Thank you, Mary for a better word!)

Aren't they just adorable? Mary is staying the weekend with us, and she and Jaelyn are just so photogenic. :-) I pray your Friday revealed so much to be thankful for--and in everything you find a reason to say thanks for, it's just more proof of His love for you.

Day Three

"I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.

Then I called on the name of the Lord...

The Lord is gracious and righteous;

Our God is full of compassion.

The Lord protects the simplehearted;

When I was in great need, He saved me.

Be at rest once more, O my soul,

For the Lord has been good to you."

....Psalm 116:3-7....

This psalmist is undefined, but if His anguish was anything like that of David's, it may have had to do with life and death. Though this is also undefined, those times were definitely overcome with trouble and sorrow--and those in very real instances.

My sorrow isn't life and death, which makes me feel rather small in the sorrowing. But it still seems very real in the midst of it. The past couple days seemed to permiate of things that reminded me of hurt, of what I've lost, of what's been asked of me; thus making it easy to despair. Then finally, at the very end of the day, a friend put a voice to these hurts. I cried out for His comfort, needed any ounce of it for but a moment. And in His compassion and protection, He rescued me in even my little need. The last two lines of that Psalm are so warm, I can't even put words to it.

Be at rest, my soul.

He is greater than anything I could ever know or devise. His ways, thoughts, counsel--too vast for me to even try to fathom! "I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me. But I have stilled and quieted my soul" (Ps. 131). He is God, and I am not.

He has been so good to me.

I don't have riches in abundance to prove this to the world, nor everything I have ever wanted at my feet and disposal. His goodness is higher than these things! Higher than anything materialistic and perishable. We may never know the depths of His work in us, but you know...that's okay. :-)

I wanted to share more in detail, but I can't find the words to share the depths yet. It's been easier for me to turn my eyes to His goodness, and find rest once more. :-) I found it interesting that the psalmist worded it that way: once more. We're going to need it again.

Above is a picture of the books I'm reading now--Jeremiah, North & South, and Hinds' Feet on High Places--and a little tea cup I found for $4.99 at a little country store. And below is a quote that Anna gave me...it blessed me very much today. It made the joy-in-the-sorrow a little easier to embrace, because it's an honor to suffer for the One we love. And in being utterly satisfied by Him alone, there's a sweet spirit even in brokenness.

"The breaking of the alabaster box and the anointing of the Lord filled the house with the odor, with the sweetest odor. Everyone could smell it. Whenever you meet someone who has really suffered; been limited, gone through things for the Lord, willing to be imprisoned by the Lord, just being satisfied with Him and nothing else, immediately you scent the fragrance. There is a savor of the Lord. Something has been crushed, something has been broken, and there is a resulting odor of sweetness." --Watchman Nee

Day One

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braded hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."

.::~1 Peter 3:3-4~::.

One of the many things that stood off the pages of 1 Peter this evening. The words inner self, unfading beauty, gentle, quiet, and great worth. :-) The things I long to have as a woman after the Father's heart. In light of imperishable things, the menial things of the world fade away. My menial concerns, my little annoyances with the pattern of life...all gray in contrast to the riches of Who He is, and Who He means for me to be.

There's so much more worth in the gentle. In the quiet. In the beauty of the inner self.

::date on picture is wrong::

Above is a piece of my designated haven. As designated as living with ten people, and sharing a room with three other girls can get---but I love it. I had a hard time picking what today's picture would be, and wanting to show you my lovely yard sale purchase--the Italian-style lamp and shade at left--I thought I'd share a whole wall of my place of refuge. This is my desk, beside my bed, where I keep my favorite books handy, and a small supply of dark chocolate. The word TRUST hanging on the wall was given to me from Anna (made by her talented brother!), and is a reminder of many truths that have become dear to me.

And above that, a painting of an Italian cafe. :-)

Be blessed, friend, on this sleepy Monday night. May another weekday/workday bring you word of His unfailing love (Ps. 143:8), as by His love for you, He stirs your heart with the inner beauty of Who He is. :-)

Until tomorrow...

Jen

"There is as much difference between spiritual joys and earthly as between a banquet that is eaten and one that is painted on the wall." ~Thomas Watson

"In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus..."--Jeremy Camp

"Your earlier life was narrow and intense, settled around a little sun-spot of experience; then God withdrew His conscious blessings in order to teach you to walk by faith." --Oswald Chambers

Makes me miss the sunspot my early faith was. Yes, I struggled...the blossoming of my desire to know the Lord personally was hard as any growing pains are. The knowledge of one battle strengthening you for the next must be true, cause they just seem to always get harder. Faith shines the brightest in adversity--it's what FAITH IS. It's easy to fall into the routine of subconsciously thinking faith means everything is going okay! But faith blossoms not from anything we can fashion, all when the sick sensation of "not knowing" begins to choke our hope.
It comes down to precious trust.
Do we truly trust Him? Truly with the sleeping childlike trust that would cast our life on the invisable? On the dreaded unknown? Like a child in the protective arms of a father, the dreaded unknown isn't dreaded. It's just unknown...and it's okay! Faith stands upon that rock: Trust. We have faith based on our trust in His love...the knowledge of His love gives us the foothold to cast it all upon Him.

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Hope, sweet hope.
Placed in the world it is lost.
Love is forgotten.
Peace is stolen.
Everything of precious value is cast away.

There is a Fortress,
Love is known and He is warm.
Peace is in the foundations of His Being,
Hope placed in Him gains her reward.

In this Lover, you can fall without fear,
You can speak and He understands,
You can be broken and He will heal,
You can fail and He loves you even still.

You've seen nothing so beautiful,
Never beheld the extrordinary,
You've been deceived in your knowledge of love,
Until you meet Him.
He is beauty, He is romance.
He is sacrifice.
He is selflessness.
He is warmth, joy, rest.
He is unstoppable in His pursuits, and He pursues me.

Give me this One.
Thousands of years cannot define Him.
Universes cannot contain Him.
This One that adores me. This One who calls me by name.
Give me this One.